Redefining motherhood when your child becomes an adult

Relaxing Lavender bath soak and trusting in God's promise to lead me on unfamiliar paths... Do you see a theme emerging among this week's posts? You'd think I had moved to a new country or acquired a litter of mutant kittens! But, no, my older son just turned 18 years old, that's all. 

Relax and trust. Hmm, those two actions are already a struggle for me on a daily basis. It's not that the boy is out of control or obnoxious. Goodness, he is blessing to all those who know him. 

But, he's always had a facade of protection over him since he was a baby. He's legal now. He could join the military, get married, buy a lottery ticket, purchase cigarettes. In other words, he's an adult, and that's kind of scary. My control over him is slipping, and that's kind of scary. My influence over his actions is diminishing, and that's kind of scary. 

That line of thinking could easily escalate into a full-blown panic attack if I let it. Luckily, I don't experience a racing heart and pounding ears these days. Clinging to scriptures instead of worry and dread gives me the courage I need navigate trials. 

When kids are young and in school there are grade level expectations, curriculum standards, developmental milestones, and plenty of books to read on raising children. And now, the silence of guiding a young adult through graduation and beyond offers little solace until...

I remember what God has already done for me, how God has protected me, guided me, and comforted me. I recall how God has redeemed me, used me for His good, and brought blessings into my life from ashes. 

I confidently meditate on Isaiah 42:16 and I'm thankful that it's true. 

So, I don't have a manual for how to be a mom of a young adult. I don't have the answers or insight into the future. But, I've never had these things even when the boys were young. I realized that there's nothing mystical or dividing about my son becoming an adult. I'll face my fright, loosen my grip, and walk beside him instead of smothering him. I'll remember to relax and then trust.