I used to suck at having boundaries
So, I used to suck at having boundaries. Doormat, wishy-washy, people-pleaser, push-over. These are just a few of the terms that used to vividly describe me. I'm not trying to barf up my junk on you or put myself down. I'm just saying that this was me back in the day. And a few years ago. The thing is, it takes one to know one. So, I now have a keen eye and a heart for girls and women who are overly sensitive to criticism, don't really know what they feel or believe, and have a hard time saying no.
I used to think that this is just how I was made. Everyone is different and special in their own way, and my lack of assertiveness and anxiousness were just unique characteristics about me, right?
I was resolved to this thinking until I started reading and researching. Here's what I found:
It turns out that I am remarkably and wonderfully made.
I'm clothed with strength and dignity.
I am blessed when my confidence comes from something other than what people think of me, my hair, my skin tone, weight, my profession, my reputation, my friends, or anything else.
My yes should be "yes!" and my no should be, "no!"
I'm not meant to live with anxiety or fear.
Who knew?! And these truths are just the tip of the iceberg!
Imagine trying to parent a strong-willed child with a track record of having a hard time saying no or feeling responsible for a person's mood.
Imagine basing your marriage solely on the wants and needs of your spouse.
Imagine not having any close friends because judgment, perfection, and fear keep you from sharing life with others.
Or, maybe, you don't have to imagine. Maybe, you can relate.
It's not like I woke up one day and said to myself, "You know, I'm just going to suck at maintaining boundaries. Now, where's my coffee?"
Somehow, my low self-esteem and absent self worth got the better of me. Until I realized the Truth. It kinda stinks that I had to learn this so late in life, but thank God I did. And my hope is that others will know their inherent beauty sooner than I did.
What propelled me to this understanding was a thorough reading of scripture. What God said about me was not was I said about me. I decided to believe God, take God at His word, and see myself as God sees me.
And that, my friend, changed everything.
For one, I knew I wasn't a meany for disciplining my children. I knew that both my husband, and I, were made in God's image. I knew that friends didn't expect perfection.
But, most simply and importantly, I knew God loved me and died for me.
I'm urging you. Do not underestimate your value. See what God has to say about you before judging yourself, or others.
I used to think that this is just how I was made. Everyone is different and special in their own way, and my lack of assertiveness and anxiousness were just unique characteristics about me, right?
I was resolved to this thinking until I started reading and researching. Here's what I found:
It turns out that I am remarkably and wonderfully made.
I'm clothed with strength and dignity.
I am blessed when my confidence comes from something other than what people think of me, my hair, my skin tone, weight, my profession, my reputation, my friends, or anything else.
My yes should be "yes!" and my no should be, "no!"
I'm not meant to live with anxiety or fear.
Who knew?! And these truths are just the tip of the iceberg!
Imagine trying to parent a strong-willed child with a track record of having a hard time saying no or feeling responsible for a person's mood.
Imagine basing your marriage solely on the wants and needs of your spouse.
Imagine not having any close friends because judgment, perfection, and fear keep you from sharing life with others.
Or, maybe, you don't have to imagine. Maybe, you can relate.
It's not like I woke up one day and said to myself, "You know, I'm just going to suck at maintaining boundaries. Now, where's my coffee?"
Somehow, my low self-esteem and absent self worth got the better of me. Until I realized the Truth. It kinda stinks that I had to learn this so late in life, but thank God I did. And my hope is that others will know their inherent beauty sooner than I did.
And that, my friend, changed everything.
For one, I knew I wasn't a meany for disciplining my children. I knew that both my husband, and I, were made in God's image. I knew that friends didn't expect perfection.
But, most simply and importantly, I knew God loved me and died for me.
I'm urging you. Do not underestimate your value. See what God has to say about you before judging yourself, or others.
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